I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
