Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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