if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I love you. Go after that dick
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