I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize