Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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