we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
