my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
