guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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