Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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