so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
