brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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