Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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