Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
