just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just want nice things and good sex
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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