hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
