the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
