I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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