dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Randomize
