Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize