dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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