In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
smell my finger.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
