Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
