Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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