I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize