I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
