Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
