Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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