You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
