Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
as a side note pls kill me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
