i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
