Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
