Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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