Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
