What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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