I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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