The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can text with my tongue
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
