that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
