True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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