There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
