i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
