I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
