She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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