but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize