I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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