just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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