NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
