i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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