i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
