i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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