i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
