Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Even my vagina gasped.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize