I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
