He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
