fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
