i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
