it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
