I feel like abortions should bother me more
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
