Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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