You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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