how can u be prego again
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
