Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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