did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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