dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
