Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize