She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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