I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
