he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
