Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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