With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize