So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
