I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize