I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
