Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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