a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
