life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
