tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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