Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
