He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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