so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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